By Jade Emory
Oahu Island News, February 2005


Friendship differs from romantic love in that desire is not a motivating factor. Three thousand years ago, it was written in the I Ching: “Only when relationships are based on what is right, on steadfastness, can they triumph over everything. If a connection is only based on common interest, the closest bond will end when the shared interest fades.”

Love is willingness, whether in platonic or romantic relationships: willingness to help, to support, to sympathize, to respect, to honor the validity of the friend’s beliefs and concerns. It is supremely unselfish.

Astrologically, the 11th house governs friendship. Compatibility is often found with favorable connections to one’s Moon or Venus placement, irrelevant of the Sun signs. Elements of fire (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius) and air (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius) tend to be compatible, and elements of earth (Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn) harmonize with water signs (Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces).

But too much of the same element can overload the connection. An overemphasis on earth may yield a cold, materialistic relationship; on fire, too hot an emotional interaction.

Too much air may result in solely cerebral gymnastics, devoid of caring, and too much water may drown friends in psychological depth, with no light-hearted fun.

The best friends reflect our own, highest qualities. Therefore, to attract the best friends, you must become the best you can be.

Develop yourself by committing to a value system, in either a spiritual or philosophical path, that emphasizes honor and purity of intention. Your birth chart will provide clear insight as to your potential and areas that require resolution.

It is a mistake to seek answers based on just the Sun sign, whether in looking for forecasts or superficial analysis of one’s own potential.

Just as responsible medicine is practiced with complex diagnostic procedures prior to treatment, likewise there must be responsible, thorough analysis of the whole birth chart to effectively solve inner problems and empower someone.

Oahu Island News Contributing Editor Jade Emory holds degrees in psychology and education, has taught in American and Canadian universities and has been a counselor since 1970. She may be reached at 808-429-2411 or by email at

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