By Jade Emory
Oahu Island News, March 2004

Romantic Partnerships

If you didn’t desire your romantic partner, would you tolerate his treatment of you? Often people confuse desire with love, cultivating lack of self-love. If that attractive mate is emotionally inaccessible or abusive through disrespectful actions or inaction, then the choice is between self-perpetuation and self-destruction.

The 5th house of the birth chart rules both romance and ego development. Without a strong sense of self, one has no foundation from which experience love. The 7th house of partnership draws us to attributes in others which mirror potentials within ourselves. One house may encompass from one to three signs, adding to the complexity of relationship dynamics.

ARIES draws one to express one’s own playful creativity, initiative, ambition, youthfulness and leadership.

TAURUS focuses on physical attraction and financial solvency, society’s vain priorities. But inwardly, Taurus needs tender caring, trustworthy inner values and a celebration of the senses.

GEMINI values communication, objectivity, intellectual or academic growth. It may avoid emotional intimacy and be reticent to commit unless a partnership offers adequate “space.”

CANCER not only wants emotional intimacy, it has to beware of emotional dependency, expecting equivalent returned support, reducing the connection to a surrogate parent-child dynamic.

LEO may indulge ego’s need to impress others with its “trophy” mate or seek a satellite to revolve around itself. It should seek genuine love instead of a selfish caricature.

VIRGO may choose a mate who withholds or withdraws love, and should seek someone who loves unconditionally like its pet.

LIBRA rarely wants solitude, but without equality or ethics will leave a partnership. Gentle and refined, it thrives on fairness and cooperation.

SCORPIO needs sexual intimacy and financial sharing. Control issues are best resolved by sharing power rather than competing for it.

SAGITTARIUS wants a deeply spiritual or philosophical mate, compatible with its own belief system. A lover of travel and athletics, it may enjoy autonomy as much as togetherness.

CAPRICORN wants a very socially acceptable partner, as it values the approval of authority figures. Sometimes the partner is significantly older or accomplished professionally.

AQUARIUS seeks a best friend or a mate from a different culture, in order to escape perceived lower attributes from its own ethnicity. Highly charitable, it seeks an unselfish partner.

PISCES seeks an empathetic, sensitive partner, but if that partner uses drugs or alcohol, one may end up the savior and victim at the same time.

Oahu Island News Contributing Editor Jade Emory holds degrees in psychology and education, has taught in American and Canadian universities and has been a counselor since 1970. She may be reached at 808-429-2411 or by email at

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