By Jade Emory
Oahu Island News, April 2004

Improving Behavior Patterns

It is so easy to say, “This is just how I am. Take it or leave it.” And eventually, empowered people will leave it. Therefore, the question emerges whether you should change any of those patterns of thought or behavior that repel a significant other.

ARIES may need to complete what it starts, stop being bossy and stop expecting others to carry its anger.

TAURUS cannot outwardly order its life while leaving its deepest, inner needs unmet. The beauty of a kind, nurturing heart will ultimately nourish Taurus more than wealth and beautiful form combined.

GEMINI wants to talk but may insist on keeping the conversation safe and superficial. A chameleon, it may tell others what they want to hear but not back it up with appropriate action.

CANCER may live its adult life as a nurtured, dependent child, negating its own potential to be self-sustaining. It may also be its children’s enabler, keeping them from growing up to be responsible for themselves.

LEO should regulate its ego so that the partner is not its satellite. Recreational interests should not be the priority over responsiveness to the partner.

VIRGO may be a workaholic, appearing to devalue the emotional investment of its partner, coming across as inaccessible, contracted or cold.

LIBRA needs to feel complete without a partner prior to creating a relationship with someone else. It must not degrade itself or its mate with vulgarities.

SCORPIO is so emotionally deep that others may not be able to get that real. Inclined to privacy or secrecy, its partner may feel left out.

SAGITTARIUS exalts in finding its spiritual path, but should have respect for others’ unique experience of the Divine. It may unconsciously promote its freedom, inadvertently appearing to reject its partner.

CAPRICORN needs to control itself, not its mate. If a relationship is obsolete, then “graduate,” but Capricorn shouldn’t use a good friend as a stepping stone in its social climb to attain higher ranks, devaluing supportive people.

AQUARIUS values causes and social activism more than personal relationships, therefore coming across as detached and unavailable.

PISCES can make inappropriate sacrifices, feeling victimized, compensating by indulging itself in behavior that isolates it from others. Lacking boundaries, it may try to be the savior of self-destructive people, neglecting quality connections.

Oahu Island News Contributing Editor Jade Emory holds degrees in psychology and education, has taught in American and Canadian universities and has been a counselor since 1970. She may be reached at 808-429-2411 or by email at

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